Hoping that Spring will bring me a renewed sense of being or something. The last few weeks have had me spinning... or my head spinning, I suppose. I have not been sleeping well, which is nothing new for this lifelong insomniac! We have a cold that keeps circling our house and at one point or another over the last couple of months we have all been sick over and over again. Ugh!! I think it's clearing again and sure hope it goes away for good this time!
There has been so much on my mind lately. Worry sucks and I seem to worry about everything. Some would say that worry is no good, even a sin, but it is what it is. I'm not one to "put it in God's hands" as many would tell me to do. I don't think he is going to lend us money for my daughter's college tuition or for my other daughter's tech. tuition?!? Would be happy if he could fix this car that has been in my garage for 2 months now so Ashley would finally have a car again!! Of course, those are just the tip of the iceberg to what is on my mind. Some things I can not put here, but let's just say that my mind is in overdrive and sometimes I feel as if my head is about to burst! I need a break. A break from what, I don't know.... Just a break.
Then again, I should consider myself lucky as things could be so much worse. We all at least have our health and for that, I am very thankful!
I have a feeling this blog post will be all over the place. Then again, that is quite normal as well for me, isn't it?!?
It amazes me how many bodies can fit in this one chair I'm in right now. I am not alone in it, but sharing it with 3 of my 4 dogs. LOL Wonder if they could get much closer to me? Who am I to complain. At least they give me unconditional love. Not many other beings in this world will give you that. Unconditional love is something to be very happy about. So, they can take up the whole chair anytime they want!
I have so much on my mind that I'm not even sure how to put most of it into words here. I have a headache too, which I guess is a result of all that is on my mind. How much can one mind actually hold? I suppose it can hold a lot as mine always has a lot in it. Beginning to wonder if being a homemaker is best for me?!? Leaves me with a lot of time to myself and a lot of time to have things racing through my head. Might not be a great thing! Hmmmmm, guess that is something else to think about. As if I have room for one more thing in my head?!?
I have found myself needing my Mom so much more lately. I guess when things are going on in my life, I really need to talk to Mom. I need her to help me sort through things and tell me that things will work out in the end. I need to be able to vent to her over the things that are bothering me. She was always great at listening to me. God I miss my best friend so much!!!
I would love to laugh! I have not laughed hard in a long time. Even when I am feeling pretty happy something always happens to bring me right back down. I need a day where nothing goes wrong, no stress presents itself and I can truly laugh until I cry. I really hate that I have accepted that this is just how it's supposed to be for me. I can't help but wonder if this is everyone's normal and that I just don't see others feeling like this?!? I know everyone has stresses in their lives, but I truly feel that every day is so full of stress for me. That can't be normal, can it?!? My mind is on overload, obviously. Sigh...... I need a vacation!!
2 comments:
Kim, I so get where you are with your mind being in overdrive! I'm having to consciously slow mine down, and find ways to deal with, well, life. Life as it is, rather than what I wish it to be-which is a pisser no matter how you look at it. So glad, at least, that you, and others like you, are in my life, to bring me back down to earth and provide an ear to listen! Feel better, sweetie-
Thank you Alison. I am so glad that you and the rest of the Angel sisters are in my life now too. You have all helped me so much!! Love ya! xoxo
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