October October October

Guess what.... It's October!  Like my subject line didn't give that away?  Not like nobody knows anyway.

October is usually the beginning of the difficult months for me with missing Mom.  My birthday is next week and I try hard to look forward to it and enjoy my "birthday month", but I do find myself slowly slipping down.  It sucks!!  I do have to say that I am quite proud of myself as most of the time those bad, sad, feelings do not last for a long length of time like they used to.  They used to consume me from October through February, but now I have moments instead of days, weeks, months.   Definitely a positive improvement.

I feel bad that I do not write in this blog much.  But then again nobody reads it so no real reason to feel bad.  Ha ha  

There has been so much going on lately.  I am finding myself exhausted (not that it means I sleep much).  Lots of great things and then some bad too of course.  It can never seem to be all good and there is always stress in life.  Keep hoping that once Pat retires in 2014 and once everything is over (graduations, weddings, retirement, hopefully moving) maybe then the stress will all just lift like a fog and finally life will be 99% great!  One can hope anyway, right?!?

There are so many changes going on around me and even with me.  Trying to decide if they are all good or not, but I guess in the end it is what it is and will turn out to be what needed to happen.  Have had some friends basically walk out of my life lately for various reasons I suppose.  I guess in the end if it was that easy to walk away perhaps they were never truly friends to begin with?   Just hurts sometimes.   I didn't do anything to any of them for them to walk away.  Life just changed for some of them and I guess I wasn't important enough for them to keep me as part of their lives.  
Then I came to many of my own conclusions about "friends".  I put that in quotations as I have come to realize that some people that would call me a friend really aren't friends.  They are acquaintances which is fine but I hate when people try to say that it's something it isn't.  
So I am now making changes in my life when it comes to friendships and removing those that are one sided friends and only bother with me when it's convenient for them or they need something from me.   Who needs that, right?!?
No place to go but up as far as I'm concerned.

I have a wonderful husband who is my very best friend.  He retires in less than a year and I can't wait to spend my time with him every day.  We make each other laugh, can talk for hours without it ever getting old, enjoy doing tons of stuff together, etc.....  He supports me in anything I want to do.   I could not ask for a better man.   I love you Pat!!

Anyway, I am just rambling on about a nothing in particular.  Just thought I would check in.  Some day, when I'm gone maybe my kids will want to read this stuff so here it is.  LOL!!!   Until next time which could mean months down the road the way I go.  LOL!!!